If I Had A Love Story - Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I was sitting in the aisle of the second row in the bus. I got up and plunged myself forward through the doors and felt falling down into a deep abyss. Everything around me was dark. I was consumed by emptiness and felt as if my soul was sucked by a grim reaper. True things were supposed to last forever.

I turned back to see Diya, she was wrapped inside a blanket. Her face was pale and the gracefulness in her face was gone. I hated seeing her like this but hated myself more for not being able to be by her side when she needed me.

I wasn't thinking clearly, every moment I had spent with her came as a flash. It hurt me hours ago when she had said that she had no feelings for me. Now oddly I couldn't feel any pain. It was much worse. I felt numb and devoid of my emotions and feelings.

Love is not something you can just throw away or goes away. It stays with you tormenting you now and then. Some tiny part of your heart will always belong to her, no matter how much you try to deny that. All you could do is to hide from that feeling, tell yourself that it isn't true.

It's been hours since she talked to me or at least looked at me. I pacified myself hoping things would turn over eventually but inside, my heart was desperate to get back to her. I managed to catch a dandelion that floated in front of me. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and blew it. It soared high up in the air and disappeared out of the sight.

A reddish orange blaze burnt brightly on charred wood arranged carefully to create a bonfire. The coloured lights from the disco oscillated around as people danced to the music played around the bonfire. I found a dark corner and settled myself there; I was in no mood for dance.

"I certainly do not belong here now" I thought. I got up in search of fresh air hoping that it would cheer me up. Hearing familiar voices around the corner, I stopped. I peeped to get glimpses of Ram and Anu talking to each other. I crouched lower trying to eavesdrop.

At the end of that day, we were at Veerabhoomi Resort where we were escorted to our rooms. I got a room which appeared to be a honeymoon bedroom with a bed that had a couple kissing carved in its headboard. On the outside I had a wonderful view of a swimming pool. I was still sulking. She hadn't responded to any of texts. I switched on the TV and watched football. That helped me cope up a bit.


I did a couple of texts and told my roommate that I was going out to get some air. I climbed down the stairs and hit the road. It was after few wrong turns that I found myself standing in front of a roofed building. The verandah was full of clothes drying. There were two name boards, one in English and the other in Kannada. I went and knocked at the door. I was let in immediately.

I had asked Diya's friends for a favour on phone and they agreed to let me meet her. Diya pulled her bed spread and sunk into it clearly showing that she was annoyed by my presence.

"Diya" I called, my voice almost turning into a whisper. I sat beside her near the bed. The dressing table had a variety of cosmetics, some I couldn’t recognise and a comb with several strands of hair stuck in it. I could see myself staring back at me from the mirror.

"Diya" I called again. "Just hear me out, you don't have to talk to me"
"The reason I am here right now right here is only because I am in love with you and nothing could change that. I want you to know that". I paused.
"I know you love me too. And I wouldn't be here right now by your side if that I didn't."

"You thought that I would give up on you, didn't you?" I sounded like I'm about to cry. She made no efforts to move at all.
"I want to make things right, the way we want it to be".
"When you stop hating me, I'll be there waiting for you. Bye" I wiped a tear that came and got up.

As I was leaving, she caught my hand. She was now sitting, her bedspread aside and was looking better now. Though her hair was undone, she looked just beautiful except for the dark circles in her reddish eyes.

"Do you love anyone else than me?" She asked. Her voice was feeble.
"It has been always you, only YOU".

She was smiling. I smiled back instinctively.

"I would hug you if not for this virus" She said. I went up to her and hugged her. 

Her friends started creating a ruckus and I had to stop hugging her. There were broad smiles and laughter everywhere in the room.

It was 1 in the morning when her roomies waved me bye at the door. Diya was half hidden behind the door. She was wearing a dark blue pyjamas and a black cold shoulder top. Her rosy cheeks, she was blushing. I must admit that I felt high. I wanted to jump and scream at the top of my voice into the dark empty sky. (Glad that I didn’t do it).

I sneaked into my room and dropped down to the bed. I tried to sleep but couldn't. Happiness and excitement had killed it. 

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